The betrayal of trust can be as devastating to a relationship as a death.This does not necessarily mean it is the end of the relationship. There is a process of grief and mourning and if both parties decide they want to stay together repair to the relationship IS possible with time and patience. It is very common for the spouse or partner to take blame for the affair and want to know intricate details of the affair. Suddenly small minutiae of everyday life becomes consuming and the wounded partner becomes paranoid of living. Daily occurrences becomes clues and the partner is a detective trying to piece together a puzzle of what has happened to his/ her life.The hows and whys become so intense that it could take a long period of time before any healing can ever take place. Both partners are hurt, confused and emotional and are usually at a crossroad if there relationship is even able to be salvaged. There are usually many reasons the affair took place, and sometimes, not always, it was the best thing that happened to the relationship. It was a reawakening for both parties and a chance to reconnect and communicate where they didn’t before. Some couples have actually intensified their intimacy after going through the trauma of infidelity and the sex was never better.